Merepek


After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR
Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughedand asked him to sit down saying;

‘My friend, you have not worked here for even one day. ‘
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours

Manager- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So , what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3×366 = 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year.
Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days
do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager: – Do you come to work on Workers day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.

Kendi Merepek:~ NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!! HR=HIGH RISK

Kepada pengguna BEKALAN LETRIK yang dihormati sekalian..

Gangguan bekalan elaktrik telah dan sedang berlaku beberapa buah negeri. Adalah dimaklumkan bahawa gangguan ini akan mengambil tempoh selama lebih kurang seminggu Bermula pada jam 8.00pm hari ini (7-Mac-2009) sebelum ianya berakhir.

Kesulitan ini adalah disebabkan pencawang TNB yang voltannya ‘terlebih’ aktif.

PIHAK TENAGA NASIONAL BERHAD MALAYSIA INGIN MEMOHON MAAF KEPADA SEMUA PENGGUNA TERBABIT DAN BERHARAP AGAR SEMUA PENGGUNA MENGAMBIL LANGKAH SEWAJARNYA.

Berikut merupakan keadaan semasa yang sedang berlaku akibat ke”aktif”an beberapa pencawang utama.

pencawang elektrik

Kendi Merepek:~ huhuhu… kalau la betoi2 pencawang lektrik kat mesia mcm nie… naya kita :D

One day an employee sends a

letter to Her boss asking for an

increase in her salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t

de$perately. I think you $hould be

under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$

who have given $o much $upport including

$weat and $ervice to your company.


I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and


re$pond $oon.


Your$ $incerely,


Marian $hih


The next day, the employee

recieved this letter of reply:


Dear Marian


I kNOw you have been working very hard.

NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You

must have NOticed that our company is NOt

doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s

leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United

States may go into aNOther recession. After

the NOvember presidential elections things may

turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw

what I mean.


Yours truly,


Manager

Kendi Merepek:~ $ and NO :P

Kepada semua pengunjung blog “Sebuah Kendi Yang Dilupai“, Kendi mengucapkan

Selamat Hari Raya AidilFitri

Kendi Merepek:~ Walaupun blog ini penuh ngan unsur2 “Merepek, Merabu & Meraban” sahaja, semoga anda semua tahu membezakan antara yg ilusi & fantasi dengan realiti, yang benar dengan palsu, apatah lagi unsur2 yg diragui…

Masih ku ingat kata-kata ibu
sambil memberi wang dan berpesan
Sayang, ‘Pergilah ke kedai Pak Mamat
beli sekati gula dan sekati tepung
kalau tiada pergi ke kedai Maniam
kalau tiada jua belilah di kedai Ah Chong’.

Sambil berlari girang dicelah-celah pepohon nyiur
yang melambai indah
dengan sarang-sarang tempua berhayunan
bagaikan buaian
aku membeli gula dan tepung di kedai Pak Mamat
bertahun-tahun begitu
sesekali aku kekedai Maniam dan Ah Chong.

Kata Ibu:
‘Beli dikedai Pak Mamat kita dapat berkat
Pak Mamat membayar zakat
kalau beli di kedai Maniam dan Ah Chong
siapa menanggung dosa
kalau mereka jadi kaya raya
wang tadi dibina patung-patung dewa
kita terheret percuma masuk neraka
hanya sedikit yang masuk syurga
selainnya masuk neraka
kerana subhat membina Muruga dan dewa’.

Kata Ibu:
‘Kalau mereka menjadi kaya raya
nanti mereka menjadi ceti
diberi Melayu pinjamnya wang
habis dilelongnya tanah warisan
kerana Melayu tak mampu bayar hutang’.

Kata Ibu:
‘Kalau mereka kaya raya
habis dibelinya tanah dan bendang
padi naik harga kerana Melayu hanya jadi kuli
bukan tuan
kilang buka kita punya
kedai juga bukan kita punya
tengok tu minum kopi pun kata mereka
sedap dikedai Cina’.

Kata Ibu:
‘Kalau mereka kaya raya
habis dibelinya pekan dan kampung
kita nantinya tinggal dipinggir sungai bakau
dan berumah di bukit bukau
tapi kini
sungai juga dibeli dijadikan kolam udang
bukit juga dibeli dibina kondo mewah
Melayu mahu tinggal di mana
dalam hutan belantara?’.

Kata Ibu:
‘Tanamlah kucai
kita dapat berkat
kerana makan sayur yang tidak subhat
kucai di kedai Cina disiram najis babi
kalau kita tanam kucai
kita gemukkan kucai dengan tahi kambing

Kata Ibu:
Jangan makan tokua
kalau tak tahu siapa pembuatnya
jangan makan mi kalau Ah Chai yang membuatnya
kalau makan makanan subhat
hati hilang sinarnya
kerana memakan makanan subhat
hati dipenuhi bintik bintik hitam penuh noda dan
dosa
hati akhirnya mati
kita nantinya semakin renggang dari kekasih tuhan
kita nantinya menjauhkan diri yang Maha Pencipta
dosa kita berganda-ganda
lalu tuhan turunkan bala’.

Kendi Merepek:- Pastikan semua sumber barangan & pendapatan aderlah halal. ianyer akan menjd darah daging kite nanti.

After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago. So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the US newspapers read: “US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibers, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians.”

One week later, a Malaysian scientist En Mat Boot, reported the following: After digging as deep as 500m, Malaysian scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless mobile phones.”

Kendi Merepek:~ MEleysia BolIah!!!!!

It is the final round of the Miss Universe Pageant and the 3 finalists, Miss USA, Miss Malaysia and Miss Singapore are being asked 3 simple questions:

MC: The first question is name me an electrical appliance starting with “L”
Miss USA : Lamp
Miss Singapore : Light bulb
Miss Malaysia : LADIO
Judge: No, no, Radio does not start with the letter “L”

MC: I am going to give you 3 more chances; Now, name me an animal starting
with the letter “L”
Miss USA : Lion
Miss Singapore : Leopard
Miss Malaysia : LABBIT
Judge: No, no, no!

MC: Your next chance. The name of a famous car that starts with “L”
Miss USA: Lexus
Miss Singapore : Lamborghini
Miss Malaysia : Lolls-Loyce
Judge: Oh my God!

MC: I am going to give you one last chance! Name me a fruit starting
with the letter “L”
Miss USA : Lemon
Miss Singapore : Lychee
Miss Malaysia , with full of confidence, smiles and says: LIEWLIAN!!

This is not the end of the story, the Judge consulted the
board of judges to determine if Miss Malaysia should really be disqualified ; and they decided that since Miss Malaysia was having so many problems with the letter “L”, they decided to give her another chance.

Judge: OK, the final question is : Name me a human anatomy starting
with the letter “L”
Miss USA : Lung (applause)
Miss Singapore : Liver (even more applause)


Miss Malaysia : LAN C*AU

The Judges fainted..!!!

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