After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR
Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughedand asked him to sit down saying;

‘My friend, you have not worked here for even one day. ‘
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours

Manager– How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So , what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3×366 = 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year.
Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days
do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager: – Do you come to work on Workers day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.

Kendi Merepek:~ NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!! HR=HIGH RISK

Jika sblm nie, seluruh negara mengalami ganguan elektrik, mari kita kaji pula asal usul perkataan elektrik ini.

Orang Melayu dikatakan mengambil perkataan ELEKTRIK daripada perkataan Inggeris yang juga ELECTRIC. Tetapi yang sebenarnya, ELECTRIC itu diambil dari perkataan Melayu campur Inggeris.

Ceritanya… . Pada suatu masa dulu selepas setahun Thomas Edison mencipta lampu, saintis tidak pernah terfikir memberi nama kuasa yang menyebabkan lampu itu hidup. Jadi, entah macam mana semasa lampu mula-mula hendak diperkenalkan di Tanah Melayu, ada seorang Melayu yang bernama Kulup Kalimantang mati-mati tidak percaya pada hasil ciptaan Thomas Edison itu. Semasa demonstrasi diadakan oleh Thomas di Tanah Melayu untuk memperkenalkan lampu itu, Kulup Kalimantang pun berkata dengan kuat.

“Ele..trick aje tu… ele..trick aje… ele trick!”. ( Bermaksud tipu )

Thomas Edison berfikir Kulup berkata begitu kerana mengatakan lampu menyala disebabkan oleh kuasa “ele..trick” . Jadi digunakanlah perkataan “ELE..TRICK” yang dieja ELECTRIC mengikut ejaan orang putih. Sebagai mengingati jasa Kulup Kalimantang menamakan kuasa ELECTRIC itu, maka diciptalah sejenis lampu panjang yang dinamakan lampu kalimantang..HAHHA.

Kepada pengguna BEKALAN LETRIK yang dihormati sekalian..

Gangguan bekalan elaktrik telah dan sedang berlaku beberapa buah negeri. Adalah dimaklumkan bahawa gangguan ini akan mengambil tempoh selama lebih kurang seminggu Bermula pada jam 8.00pm hari ini (7-Mac-2009) sebelum ianya berakhir.

Kesulitan ini adalah disebabkan pencawang TNB yang voltannya ‘terlebih’ aktif.

PIHAK TENAGA NASIONAL BERHAD MALAYSIA INGIN MEMOHON MAAF KEPADA SEMUA PENGGUNA TERBABIT DAN BERHARAP AGAR SEMUA PENGGUNA MENGAMBIL LANGKAH SEWAJARNYA.

Berikut merupakan keadaan semasa yang sedang berlaku akibat ke”aktif”an beberapa pencawang utama.

pencawang elektrik

Kendi Merepek:~ huhuhu… kalau la betoi2 pencawang lektrik kat mesia mcm nie… naya kita 😀

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine

‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la casa.’
‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’

A student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer’ should be a masculine or a feminine noun.  Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definitely be of the feminine gender (‘la computadora’ ), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The  native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As  soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (‘el computador’) , because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;
3. They  are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Kendi merepu:~ So, wich team are correct. As Nabil said… “lu pikir la sendiri…

Pada suatu hari, ada sebuah kereta yang dipandu terhoyong hayang melanggar tinga lampu dan terbalik.. Kesemua penumpangnya yang terdiri dari seorang lelaki tua.. seorang wanita tua.. dan dua orang anak kecil.. luka parah tak berdaya. Hanya seekor monyet yang merupakan binatang peliharaan keluarga.. masih sihat tanpa sedikit lukapun

Pihak polis kebingungan melihat kejadian itu… lalu dia memutuskan untuk menyoal saja pada si monyet untuk memperoleh keterangan mengenai kejadian tersebut..

Polis : “Monyet.. apa yang terjadi sebenarnya?”

Si monyet kemudian merebahkan dirinya dalam keadaan terbalik beberapa kali.

Polis : “Oh…kereta terbalik beberapa kali… jadi apa yang dilakukan oleh lelaki tua itu?”

Si monyet menirukan gerakan mabuk sambil mengayakan minum arak..

Polis : “Oh…lelaki itu sedang mabuk masa memandu.
Dan bagaimana pulak wanita tua itu? Anak-anak juga buat apa?”

Si monyet menirukan posisi orang tidur.. kemudian bergerak-gerak spt orang sedang bertengkar.

“Oh…okey.. saya dah faham.. wanita tua itu tido dan anak2nya bertengkar dalam kereta.. dan kamu sendiri pula buat apa monyet?”

Dan… si monyet kemudian menirukan gaya memandu…

Kendi merapu:~ lol… patutla keta tu terbabas rupanyer….

One day an employee sends a

letter to Her boss asking for an

increase in her salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t

de$perately. I think you $hould be

under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$

who have given $o much $upport including

$weat and $ervice to your company.


I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and


re$pond $oon.


Your$ $incerely,


Marian $hih


The next day, the employee

recieved this letter of reply:


Dear Marian


I kNOw you have been working very hard.

NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You

must have NOticed that our company is NOt

doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s

leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United

States may go into aNOther recession. After

the NOvember presidential elections things may

turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw

what I mean.


Yours truly,


Manager

Kendi Merepek:~ $ and NO 😛

Boss berkata kepada Secretary : Kita akan outstation selama seminggu, jadi aturkan segalanya.
Secretary menelefon Suaminya : Untuk seminggu boss saya dan saya akan outstation, awak pandai2 jaga diri nanti…
Suami menelefon Buah Hatinya : Isteri saya akan outstation selama seminggu, jadi mari kita habiskan masa bersama-sama….
Buah Hati menelefon Murid tuisyennya : Saya kene bekerja selama seminggu, jadi awak tak perlu datang untuk tuisyen…
Murid tuisyen tersebut menelefon Atuknya : Atuk, untuk seminggu saya takde kelas sebab cikgu saya sibuk. Mari kita habiskan masa bersama…
Atuk (the 1st boss) menelefon Secretary : Minggu ni saya nak abiskan masa bersama cucu saya.. Batalkan outstation tuh…
Secretary menelefon Suaminya : Minggu ni boss saya ade kerja, kami dah membatalkan outstation tu…
Suami menelefon Buah Hatinya : Kita tak dapat nak habiskan masa bersama untuk minggu ni, isteri saya dah membatalkan outstationnya..
Buah Hati menelefon Murid Tuisyennya : Minggu ni kelas tuisyen mcm biase.
Murid Tuisyen menelefon Atuknya : Atuk, cikgu saya cakap minggu ni saya kene pergi kelas tuisyen. Sori, saya tak bleh temankan atuk.
Atuk menelefon Secretary : Jangan risau, minggu ni kita outstation. Jadi uruskan semuanya..

Kendi Meraban:~ Woakakaka…. penat kendi nak tulih lagi nie….

heheheee….